[034] May the Fourth (Wall) Be With You

[notafuckingnut]

...I'm not gonna ask for porn this time. Too much weird shit happened last time.

If that crazy-ass pony's back, though, I promise it's glue. You're funny enough but nobody gets to talk to me like that and get away with it.

[He's not asking for Seth he's not he's NOT. Seth isn't here, he won't be, he can't be.]

So. Hi everybody, I guess? I'd say welcome, but you don't want to be here. Trust me.

Comments

/jaaaaaaack :}

[alwayshasaplan]

Hey. Kid. Stop tryin' to fuck with my brother or I'll find you.

[alwayshasaplan]

[There is a lot of fumbling in the dark for about a minute. Then someone turns on a light and there in all its glory is the original Playboy photo spread of the Barbie Twins.]

[notafuckingnut]

I didn't. I was kidnapped. ...Kind of.

[notafuckingnut]

[Fffff you are the best brother ever, Seth. Just...the best.

Although he's making a point not to actually look at the guy holding the skin mag. It CANNOT BE SETH that would be too cruel.]

...well fuck. That's better than any of the shit I got here.

You're not gonna make me sign a contract for it, are you?

[tatra]

Kind of?

[notafuckingnut]

It's...complicated.

[Not really.]

[tatra]

I'm terribly sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?

[colormejellerz]

Siri, who diagnosed crazy glue?

[notafuckingnut]

Um. I guess...

[And here would be the point when his mind would play tricks, fill in all kinds of things based off that one question, the myriad implications it could have. But...they're not so quick to voice themselves these days, and not so desperately vocal when they do, so instead he merely shrugs.]

Not unless you can bring back the dead. Or hijack a ship.

[tatra]

I'm afraid such things are far beyond my powers.

[notafuckingnut]

Excuse you?

[notafuckingnut]

That's okay. I kinda figured.

[Siiiigh.]

[tatra]

It does seem strange that our ship would pick up your signal if there was no way for me to reach you. Perhaps there's something I can do after all.

[ She's going to need to get the techies on board, though. ]

[notafuckingnut]

You think so?

[tatra]

If I can contact Cephiro, and they haven't used too much energy, perhaps.

[notafuckingnut]

...who?

[tatra]

Cephiro, the world we just departed from.

[notafuckingnut]

Oh. What's it like?

[tatra]

I've heard it was beautiful, once. It fell apart after the Pillar died. We're working to rebuild now.

[pikitis]

Oh. Okay. [Look how much he fears you, Seth. Look how delicious this plum is.]

[pikitis]

The fantasy talking pony didn't tell you her name? That's disrespectful.

[shinylittlekey]

...A pony gave you porn? [Expression clearly reading: WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING.]

[alwayshasaplan]

[He keeps paging through it slowly. When he comes to the end, there's a sigh, and Seth says] Hell to the no. My baby brother wants porn, I don't care if he's dead and on the television and I'm fucking dreaming off a bad drunk. He's gonna get porn.

[notafuckingnut]

I'm not--

[...okay, he is. Semantics.]

And you're not?

[notafuckingnut]

...how can a pillar die? It's just stone, isn't it?