[009] honesty is rarely the best policy

[notafuckingnut]

We crash into things, we stop at fucking weird places, and now the damn boat floods?  What's next, we get hit by pirates?

...Actually that would be kinda cool.  Maybe then I would get to kill people without everybody hassling me about it all the time.  Or join them; I like their philosophy.  Their eye patches?  Not so much.  They creep me out.

Although they are kinda cool underneath; did you know eyeballs don't squish as much as you'd think?


[Cheerful, AFFECTED Richie is both cheerful and affected!  Warning: he also shares ENTIRELY too much and is likely to run his mouth until you tell him you really would like him to stop talking.  And even then he might try to continue anyway.

Belated, and I really should have put this up sooner:

Trigger Warnings: contained below is casual discussion of rape, torture, animal abuse, accidental murder, and confusion between kink and domestic violence, as well as TERRIBLE anti-rape advice.]

Comments

[notrueking.livejournal.com]

While I have no idea why you would consider them unsettling, I'm not particularly fond of them myself. They're quite inconvenient when you're only using them to hide conspicuously nonhuman features.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

They might be hiding attack ferrets and I like my balls. And that whole area; I would be really fucking pissed off if it got damaged by ferrets because then I wouldn't be able to screw. And I really like to screw even if the girls usually change their minds about it halfway through.

You have two eyes?

[notrueking.livejournal.com]

I am not entirely sure how one would go about fitting an entire ferret in their eye socket, though given how brainless humans tend to be, it wouldn't surprise me if someone had died trying.

I did. ...prior to having it gouged out, at least.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

It could happen; you never know.

Were you in a battle too?

[notrueking.livejournal.com]

It could, but I would also assume that the ferret would be more likely to attack the person who tried to stuff it in their eye socket.

Yes. Quite a few, actually.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...I guess you have a point.

Is that why you're down an eye? Or was that a different thing?

[notrueking.livejournal.com]

Yes. Granted, my original eye ended up decomposing and being reconstructed into something better, but I don't necessarily count that.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...So it rotted. How can you make something better out of a rotten eye? That doesn't make any fucking sense.

[notrueking.livejournal.com]

By using human souls as energy, essentially.