[008] sorry I crashed through your window on acid

[notafuckingnut]

Sooo.  What the fuck was that?  Stuck in a Disney movie?  What's with that, that's like...somebody's idea of a joke or something.  It has to be.  Or one of the circles of hell.  How can you land somewhere and it just....takes over everything, that doesn't make any fucking sense.

...And now I have all these weird-ass thoughts and shit and MAKE THEM GO AWAY holy fucking shit.

Also THANK YOU ASSHOLE for removing the censors; growling doesn't quite work the same way.

I fucking swear I'm staying below deck next time.

...And I can't find my glasses.  If anybody took them or found them somewhere, I really need them back.

[PRIVATE to Lua]

I swear I wasn't actually gonna eat you. [...probably.]   ...Even though I said I was.  I didn't mean it, you didn't have to take off like that the minute my back was turned.  [He might still be a little offended about that.]

[PRIVATE to Claire]

...Violet?  Really?

[Pause pause pause]

...And I guess I should probably apologize for kidnapping you.  [Probably.  Although he's not sure WHY he should.]

Comments

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

It helps you relax. I don't know about you, but I can't be on the bloody clock all the time. I'd lose my loopy little mind!

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...So does...you know.

[...No, Richie doesn't really get that whole...foreplay concept. So. Snuggling = useless.]

Or watching TV.

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

Do you miss the television any? I've lived without six years.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...How could you go six years without one?

[He'd get SO.BORED.]

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

Well, we had each other, and the people of Whitechapel needed us, so there was always so much work. As for the rest--alcohol and sex, mostly. Lots of training and meditation in my case.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...Uh-huh.

[You lost him there, Arkady. Nod and...blank look.]

...You live on a military compound or something?

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

Oh no.

You see, six years ago London got hit by bad earthquakes, and the water level rose twenty feet. Whitechapel's an island full of refugees now.

And I train in the use of my powers. I can do funky shit.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...No it didn't. And it's not. Not as far as I know anyway, they woulda said something on the news.

What kinda shit, like...card tricks or something?

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

Not in your world. In mine. I could show you but it would be weird.

Not card tricks, I'm too clumsy. Teleportation, things like that.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

Why can't the worlds be the same? It's less confusing.

[Just wait until somebody asks you about WW2, Richie. Then YOU will be the confusion of everybody.]

...You can teleport.

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

It's the differences that divide the worlds. Basically something happens in one world that goes differently in another, and the timelines split. There are plenty of worlds out there where London is whole and alive, and I wish they were all that way.

Yes! I can bring one a beer in two minutes flat!

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...How does that work? It already happened, it can't happen a different way.

Two minutes? Really?

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

This requires a chalkboard. [She sets up her communicator across the room and puts a big piece of butcher paper up on her wall, then grabs a marker.] This'll do.

[She starts drawing a line.] This is one world's timeline. Now imagine a big event, like...the American Revolution. Suddenly there are multiple what-ifs. What if America lost the war. What if they were so weakened by the war that another power, say the French, came in and took over. [She splits off the line into three different branches.] Now we have three worlds. [She puts an x over one of the branches.] Here's the timeline as you know it--America won. Now, imagine that a whole bunch of other what-ifs happen...[more branches] creating more parallel worlds.

Because reality is infinite, every possibility that ever came up is being played out somewhere. There are worlds where we've been conquered by aliens. Worlds where we practice magic instead of relying on science. Worlds where neither of us ever died.

And yes, if I know where I'm going it only takes me long enough to draw up a beer down the pub.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

[You lost him about a quarter of the way through. Mostly he's just watching with a glazed look now.]

I wasn't...fuck, I didn't need an explanation. I was just saying. It doesn't make sense. How can...you can't...Somebody woulda said something by now if that were the case. If they'd discovered that. That's like...movie shit, that doesn't happen.

[Vampires? Sure. Turning into a Disney character? Apparently that's a thing too. Alternate universes? THAT'S where he draws the line.]

Now I need a beer.

/accidentally brings him Dwarven ale, Y/Y?

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

OK! What sort of beer?

/haha sure!

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Beer. ...What, are you actually gonna bring me a beer or something?

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

Yes. I can't always make a habit of it, because that will get me in trouble. But I'll bring you a pint from the pub.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

OH. I wasn't...okay. Um. I'm in 7-9.

[Psh, like he's saying no to random booze.]

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

All right. One pint shouldn't trouble anyone.

*ksht*

Oooo! What's this big new tap over here! I'm going to try some of this myself.

Two pints of whatever-this-is, coming up!

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

...what was that noise?

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

Me coming to the pub. [glug glug glug and then massive foaminess] Eek! Hee hee hee! You could float a bottlecap on this stuff!

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're supposed to be able to...

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

We could split the pint if you don't trust it. I'll drink first.

[notafuckingnut.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

It's not that I don't trust it, I just don't think that's how beer's s'posed to work.

[spam]

[can-has-vodka.livejournal.com]

[Thlurp]

Oo! I think i'll drink second too.

I'll be right there.

*ksht*

[knock knock]