notafuckingnut | [026] I'm an optimistic pirate and I love my black spot

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[026] I'm an optimistic pirate and I love my black spot

[PUBLIC -- video]

Why can't more shit that happens around here be like that? I mean, come on. Pirates, how is that not cool. I haven't had that much fun from the Admiral's shitty driving since Vegas. Just throw in Prohibition in Chicago and that's like...the trifecta.

[PRIVATE to Claire]

~~So that flood we had before was~~ ~~You were kind of~~

[Nothing sent.]

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Actually...

[He taps his lips with his finger as he draws from his case studies.]

They can be very demanding. They often call upon me to do violence to others, or whisper false secrets about those people into my ear. Worst of all is when they imitate the person with me, and make it appear that that person is talking.

So how do you know it's not true?

[still wary, but he's starting to relax a little, leaning back in his chair and making himself comfortable. Which generally translates to trying to take up all the leg room.]

One of the things that I do to help myself cope is to verify. I check, I make certain that I heard correctly, and I make connections with others whom I know I can trust to help me if I should become confused.

[He doesn't seem to mind the Richiesprawl. In fact he sees it as a good sign.]

Unfortunately Will was one of those people. But I'll let you in on a little secret about him.

[he seems to be sincerely thinking this over, even if it looks more like he's disappeared to have some secret mind meld with someone just out of sight. That was Seth's job, to help separate things when he got confused, and it was at least somewhat Lua's job now, but she couldn't always be there. But the mention of Will seems to bring him out of his thoughts. He frowns.]

What.

The reason that Will is so very good at connecting with people, at "getting" them, in the vernacular, is that he would almost literally feel what they felt. And he couldn't turn it off. The man walked around this place like that for as long as he could stand it. When he left, I have no doubt that it was because that peculiar sensitivity was overloaded past tolerance.

We all have our problems, Richie. But fortunately where Will's was not manageable, mine is.

...Uh-huh.

[He's still beyond skeptical.

And sadly going in completely the wrong direction with this. It's easier to accuse others than face your own issues, after all, and even easier to pretend things don't apply to you. He's spent over a decade avoiding it, why stop now?]

So he left 'cause he's a pussy. 'Cause he couldn't handle it here anymore and he just didn't want to deal with it. 'Cause he could, while everybody else is fucking stuck here.

That would be why I keep wanting to stab him.

Of course in my case I'd be stuck here anyway. I have more than my own life to earn back.

[A twitch. He glances at the wall.]

It was much worse before I got things under control. Much worse.

...Worse like what.

[Uncertain. He doesn't know if he wants the answer or not, but it's out now, too late to take it back. He fidgets, fingers twisting in his lap.]

When things are at their worst they are the way I described before. When they are better, well...I have earned multiple degrees and accomplished much.

...Oh.

[A pause.]

Why are you telling me all this? I mean...aside from the wanting to kill Will shit, I get that.

Mmm...well. I knew you could relate on the Richie issue, and the two are intertwined. You seem like a man who can keep a secret. Miss Lua trusts you. Why shouldn't I?

...I guess.

[Still skeptical; he can't help but think there's some ulterior motive here.]

Most people don't.

I understand that, Richie, but consider who you are talking to. They don't trust me, they don't trust you. But here we are having a perfectly civil conversation. Rather interesting, don't you think?

...Maybe. Just because you don't trust someone doesn't mean you can't have a civil conversation.

[...That would be Seth-parroting, but still.]

Mmmmm...yes, but how often does it actually happen here?

...Not often, I guess.

If you ever wish to unload regarding the whole Will mess, I now owe you a favor of that variety.

Nah, I'm okay about that. Like I said, wouldn't mind him dead, but. He was a Fed, that's...whatever.

[Articulate as always. And not entirely honest, but that's his choice.

He's more worked up over Seth disappearing anyway.]

Mmm, I suppose. But still, the debt is there should you wish to take advantage of it.

How, like just...what, ranting about it?

Ranting about anything you want. I don't mind. And I won't break confidence. After all, you've got a key to where I keep one of my closet-skeletons.

I dunno, I just...

[A sigh, fingers worrying at his glasses, adjusting them even though they don't need it.]

This whole place is bullshit, that's all. People show up and disappear and it's just...there's no reason. It's not just the wardens either.

The environment is not stable; reality here is not stable. And I do not believe that the mythology surrounding this place is entirely reliable. People disappear. In fact sometimes the Wardens vanish too, in mid sentence even, unexpectedly. Not because they choose to live. They are dragged away. It does not...help...people trying to put their lives back together. But I wonder if the Admiral is incapable of better.

Wouldn't be surprised, he sucks at everything else.

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