notafuckingnut | [013] Please tell me why

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[013] Please tell me why

[The last thing Richie remembers is being in Lua's room. And mostly boredom broken up by periodic forced trips to the kitchen because she didn't trust him left alone; she never said it, but he figured it out on his own anyway. A lecture (or what generally passed for one from Lua, anyway) after he ransacked the room once while looking for something to occupy his attention for more than five minutes tended to get the message across fairly well.

He expects to be in that same room when he wakes up, but in a complete break from predictability and reason, he's not.

He's in the infirmary instead.

The Barge is soon treated to a Richie who's still half-asleep, and looks it. He runs a hand absently through his hair, mussing it further in the process before smoothing it down reflexively (for all the good it actually does), then rubs at his eyes to clear the crust before glancing around.]

Lua? Where'd you...?

[He looks completely baffled by his surroundings, and after a moment or so longer of trying to solve the puzzle he turns his attention to the screen, blinking at it blearily.]

What. the. fuck. How'd I get here? If this is another fucked up Barge thing... Or...

[An idea suddenly dawns on him, and instead of just lazily addressing the Barge in general for more directionless ranting he seems to wake up a bit more, glaring irritatedly at the screen.]

You. Fucking punk. Whatever the hell your name is. Your ass is dead.

[A/N: Have a post-Barge!coma Richie, public. Who seems to think Jesse is as good a person to blame for the situation as anyone else, completely absent any ACTUAL information. Also open spam for those either in the infirmary or anyone who wants to drop by.]

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How the fuck am I supposed to know? Maybe you were in a freaking coma. Maybe one of the ghosts got you. Maybe the fake Admiral was fixing the mistake the real Admiral made bringing you here in the first place.

... Nice to meet you too, man. [He's just slightly puzzled by the sudden change in this guy's tone, but whatever. No sense making unneeded enemies.] I like to think so, anyway. You an inmate too?

[She can't help but laugh because he's apologizes for swearing. What was she, 12? Okay, so maybe she looked it, but it was still amusing.] I can handle a curse word or two, but I appreciate the apology, thanks.

Just to be sure we're on the same page here, who do you think it was that landed you in the Infirmary? What does he look like, sound like?

Why would I be in a coma? I didn't do anything to end up in one.

[...Hang on a minute...]

Wait. What the fuck do you mean, "the mistake the real Admiral made" bringing me here? I don't want to fucking be here anyway, but what do you mean, mistake?

So far, yeah. Which is bullshit, but try telling them that, they just start lecturing.

Barge comas are random, dipshit, you don't do anything.

And I mean your ass is clearly un-fucking-redeemable, so sucks to be your Warden, 'cause he ain't never getting out of here.

[Despite all the swearing, he doesn't seem all that mad. Annoyed, maybe, but his voice is just sort of flat. He rolls his eyes and lights up a cigarette.]

I've been here since March. Believe me, I know all about their lectures. Who's your warden?

[HA. He wins. He smiles, pleased with the small success, before shrugging; no big deal.]

That jackoff who told me to stay away from you and tried to kill me. Um. What was his name. Jesse. I think. ...I mean, he wasn't very good at it, and he got a lucky shot in, but still. That was a while ago, but I'm sure this is just another try or something, people don't just wake up weird places. ...Right?

[Her stomach seizes up, but she keeps the smile plastered on her features.] Uh, here they do sometimes. I woke up in the Infirmary before. I was in a coma for a while, during the whole chaotic fiasco that went down with the fake Admiral versus the real one. Jesse couldn't have done it, he was in Zero. I think.

...Oh.

[Well that's...annoying. He frowns, thoughtful. Topic change, anyone?]

What do you mean, fake Admiral? There was a fake one?

Will Graham. He's...alright, I guess. He pretty much just likes to talk.

Well that's just bullshit. [Acceptance, though; he's done talking about it.]

Well I'm still fucking here so I guess you're wrong.

Not that I give a shit because I didn't do anything anyway. And the shit I did do? Wasn't even my fault.

Really. [All of the sarcasm, Richie.] My heart bleeds for you.

Will Graham?

[Clearly he's familiar with the name.]

It's what I said, isn't it? Why?

Yeah. Really. Fuck you if you don't believe me. [Nobody else does anyway.]

I know him. He fucked me over once.

Oh yeah? [OH is he listening now.] How?

I kidnapped my warden and was impersonating him. Graham was the one who figured out the switch first.

Yeah, has anyone filled you in yet on what went down?

I believe you like I believe in Bigfoot, yo.

Uh. No...? I didn't realize I missed anything.

You...? [Puzzled face for about 30 seconds, then it clicks.]

OH. You're like that other chick who did the same thing. Kinda.

Confused the fuck outta me afterwards. But yeah, he's kinda a pain in the ass.

'Other chick?'

[His whole demeanor changes - instantly. He sits up, staring into the screen, scowling.]

How do you know her?

Edited 2011-11-11 02:53 (UTC)

The super short version is that all the crazy shit that was going on this month and before wasn't the Admiral's doing but someone pretending to be him. A group of us took him out, found the real Admiral, and got him back to the deck so he could sort things out and fix everything.

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