notafuckingnut | [001] where were you, I was worried

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[001] where were you, I was worried

[Text. Or, more specifically, a series of them, spread a couple minutes apart]

SETH. Cmon Seth this isn't funny. Where the fuck r u weve got a rendezvous 2 make. At least I think we do. What the fuck is this place anyway? The service sucks the beds like a rock and there isn't even a TV. What am I supposed to do in here stare at the ceiling for an hour? This is bullshit.

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Do you get attacked by girls who are batshit insane regularly?

I don't get attacked at all. [A little exaggeration, but he's usually the one doing the attacking.]

Edited 2011-08-12 15:25 (UTC)

Bullshit.

Whatever.

[Hear that eyeroll, Richie? Pause.]

What's your name, anyway?

[Not amused in the least, but he'll answer that anyway.]

Richie. You?

Perry Dawsey.

You're taking this whole Barge thing surprisingly well, man.

Last I knew I was dealing with either vampires or fucking cannibals. A prison spaceship doesn't seem that fucked up in comparison.

[...That and he figures it'll all go away soon; it usually does.]

[Seriously, Richie? There's a strange pause, then Perry continues, tone no different.]

Well hey, we get vampires here too. Cannibals, I don't know. Far as I know we don't have any of those. I fucking hope we don't, anyway.

[...In his defense, he didn't know there are vampires here? And things operate differently in Richieland anyway.]

...You have got to be fucking kidding me.

[Panic or go hunting...decisions, decisions...]

What, about vampires? Nope. Bloodsuckers get special considerations from the Admiral and everything. The kitchen gets supplies of blood for them to eat.

[He sounds kind of really grossed out right now.]

Bullshit. How the fuck does that happen?

Hell if I know, man. This place is pretty fucked up sometimes.

What, you saying that's not the worst of it?

Anyone told you about floods yet?

...No? Are we talking actual floods, like Noah's Ark shit?

Nah. They're more irritating than an actual flood would be. It's just a stupid name. [Pause; he sounds progressively more pissed off as he continues.] It sounds crazier than bugshit on toast but a flood means people turn into shit or their personalities change. You wake up and you're an animal or a baby or thinking you're the second goddamn coming of Christ. Fucked up crap like that.

...Why? And more importantly, how the fuck do they manage something like that.

Why? No one knows. How? No one fucking knows. My best guess is that Admiral Asshole just likes to fuck with us.

How long have you been here?

Almost a year now.

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[001] where were you, I was worried

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