notafuckingnut | [040] I had visions, I was in them

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[040] I had visions, I was in them

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I got an idea. A brilliant fucking idea.

How about we just...don't get off when the ship stops. I mean...it's pretty much always some shithole, an' even when it isn't you can't stick around. So what's the point in gettin' off at all? Just tie yourself down if you gotta, or stay off the damn deck period, and fuck it.

Then at least we wouldn't have everybody so fuckin' pissed about it all the time.

[PRIVATE to Lua]

How long I gotta stay on this shit again?

[PRIVATE to Seth]

Can we do something? Like...I don't even care what. But I'm going fucking stir crazy over here. And you owe me.

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[Don't say those things out loud, Seth. They hurt; it's not his fault.]

You sure? You're not busy or anything?

[He never would. He's got a good censor. He's just having a shitty time.]

I am absolutely fucking sure. Besides, even if I was on shift I'd call off for this. Fuck it. I'll leave the door unlocked.

[WHAT HAPPENED SETH he will kick their collective asses if needed. He could use a distraction.]

Okay. Long as you're sure. I'll be there in a few.

[And "a few" later, there's a tentative knock followed by inching the door open and a Richie slipping inside.]

[He's visibly haggard. But he gives his brother one of his real smiles and goes over to thump him on the shoulder and hand him a chilled Coke.] Here ya go. In a bit we should move up to beers and pool.

[On his desk, besides the box of Heavy Metal, are some books from the library about accounting and running a business.]

How's it hanging on your end? I mostly can't complain, though I kinda had to save my Warden's ass a few times.

[Coke? Seriously? It gets him a funny look, like "what are you trying to pull here?" but he'll take it. Nod agreeably at the loose plan while he looks around the place, checking out what's changed since the last time he was in here, and the books get a frown but no immediate reaction.]

Okay. No complaints here either. You got back okay?

[Of course he did. It's Seth, he always does.]

Hey, don't turn your nose up, the Mexican shit still has real sugar in it. [And tastes something like twenty times better than normal in his opinion.] Usually I have a bottle of rum but I've been holding off lately.

[A sigh] The jungle shit was mostly sweaty and dirty. Did run across some giant cockroaches at one point. That was gross. Everything's bigger in the fucking jungle.

Some of the architecture...reminded me, though.

Okay, okay, I'm not. It's fine.

[See? He'll even take a sip to prove it. ...and okay, it's better than the usual stuff but hush.]

...oh yeah?

[There's no need to ask what, he can guess. So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing Seth sent him back so early; he likes to think he's past it, but he still has nightmares about the place.

Which would explain why he suddenly looks uncomfortable.]

Yeah. [He rubs his hand over his face like he does when he's tense about something and prefers not to talk about it but has to anyway.]

You know me, Richie, usually I put the past in the past and that's that. But this time I got regrets.

Lots of regrets.

[He blinks rapidly at the ceiling and then takes a hasty gulp of his soda.]

...like what? Bitch died, that's all that matters.

[What are you talking about, Seth, why are you getting all weird?]

It's not all that matters.

But I never did tell you the story of what happened afterward, did I? I should probably fix that.

Nah. You said what you wanted to do, but not really what happened after.

[He's listening. Making himself comfortable and everything.]

Well.

[He sat back down on the bed.]

Everybody got killed except two tough guys and Jacob and his kids. Then they rose up and we had to kill them again. The two guys changed and broke open one of the windows, and all these goddamn bats started streaming in. Each one was actually a vampire.

[...Ugh. Cue face pulling.]

You serious? What, guys that were already there weren't enough?

Well, we kicked everyone's ass who was inside, so they sent in reinforcements.

We escaped to a back room, but Jacob got bitten covering our asses. That guy turned out to have some giant-ass balls, believe you me. In the time he had before he turned he helped us arm ourselves with shit we found in the storeroom. Then he started blessing the water from the tap.

I swear to you, when we hit that door, it was that guy's faith that made the difference. That blessed water hit them like battery acid. It was the most fucking amazing thing I ever saw. Haven't been able to forget it.

...they whittled us down. At the end it was just me and Kate. But we lasted til dawn. Then Carlos showed up and thank God he listened when we told him to blow the doors down.

[A long sigh. He pulls out a fresh pack of Red Apples and taps one out, then offers the pack.]

...well shit.

[Yeah, he'll take one. Fiddle with it and fidget until the lighter comes, but still.]

But you got 'em all. I mean, in the end. All of 'em?

They took you away from me. You think I'd fucking leave a one alive? No, when the door got blown in the sunlight blew up the others.

I got out. Kate got out. But it was...[he looks away.]

...it was just fucked up, Richie.

Well yeah, of course it was. Fucking vampires, I mean...Shit, Seth, I still woulda said it was somethin' in the scotch or somethin' they were pipin' into the room if they didn't have 'em here too.

...she got out okay though? I mean...she wasn't gonna cause a problem for somebody else or anything?

[Hey, he learned his lesson. Sort of. And anyway the meds are keeping him from getting into too much trouble. He's just asking.]

Yeah. But at the end of the day it was more than just vampires. I saw the power of God for a few minutes there. It was...

...shit, it's like the whole experience shook things loose in my head, and now I'm still sorting shit out. Like a shop after an earthquake or something.

Kate did get out. Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad if she hadn't just lost her whole family, just like I had. But I do. Fuck it, man, it was my plan to take them hostage in the first place. It was my call.

She didn't want revenge. She almost went with me. But I was done dragging her into dangerous situations.

[He hesitates. He's smoking too fast, like he does when he's really worried and doesn't know how to talk about it.]

[He's quiet for a moment, a long moment, just kind of...watching him. Like he's waiting for something.]

Okay, good. I mean...sucks for the rest of 'em, but it was just a preacher, Seth. They're a dime a dozen, you don't hafta feel so bad about it. Shit happens, man, wasn't like you asked for those freaks.

[But there's a silent question behind it all. What else, what are you holding back?]

He wasn't just a preacher, Richie, most preachers are fake. That guy was the real deal. And he had a family. It doesn't sit well, Richie. Some people just don't deserve to die young.

[He almost adds "like Mom", but he knows that will really upset Richie.]

Yeah, I ah...tried to warn you that I'd been thinking too much.

Seems like that's something that happens a lot around here.

[He frowns, looks unsettled but really he's not the one who does the introspection thing. He still doesn't really think he needs to.]

I think when I go back there's gotta be some changes. More Thomas Crowne, less Wild Bunch. It's the casualties, Richie. After you died they started getting to me. I keep thinking about Kate, and how she probably feels what I felt then times about five.

I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this.

...We.

[You're not leaving him here, Seth. You're not.]

We. Jesus, I'm being self centered. Sorry. Truth is no matter who gets out first I think we should wait and go together. I'm preparing myself for it. [He reaches over and pats the stack of books on his desk.]

We got a future, a non-shitty future, waiting for us back home when we get the hell out of here. And I even have a plan to contribute to it while we're here.

[Much better answer. He relaxes, grins, and now he's more willing to listen to what he's got to say.]

You promise?

[Well. Mostly. But so long as Seth's sure:]

What kind of a plan?

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